Sarcasm Dictionary | Book [updated]

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"Indeed," whispered the old man behind the counter, not looking up from his crossword. "That will be forty dollars. A steal, really."

It was a thick volume, bound in sickly green leather that felt disturbingly like skin. The title was embossed in tarnished gold leaf: The Sarcasm Dictionary: A Comprehensive Guide to the Tongue-in-Cheek, the Dry, and the Ironic. sarcasm dictionary book

He put the book back on the shelf. He’d keep it. Just in case. But tomorrow, he decided, he would tell his mother he loved her, and he would pray to God she believed him.

"Arthur!" Hendershot barked. "I see you’ve decided to grace us with your presence. Did you enjoy your weekend? Because while you were relaxing, the rest of us were panicking about the quarterly projections!" A steal, really

Arthur bought it.

The Sarcasm Dictionary Book is divided into several sections, each focusing on a specific aspect of sarcasm: He’d keep it

"Mediocrity!" Hendershot wheezed, wiping a tear. "God, Arthur, I didn't know you had it in you. Finally, someone says what we're all thinking."

"Brenda," Arthur said softly. "You are a saint. Truly. Your generosity knows no bounds."

Each entry in the dictionary includes a standard definition (what the word actually means) followed immediately by a (what people really mean when they use it).

He arrived home that evening, floating on air. He placed the book on the pedestal in his living room. He poured a glass of wine. He was untouchable.